Losing

So this is the 2nd days of Ramadhan, a holy month for moslem for fasting. Keeping up our desire from eat, drink, and emotions. I felt so happy and excited when Ramadhan is getting closer. I'm just afraid of that I can't keep my emotions, which could invalidate the fast. But the point to do fasting wasn't about hold feeling to do all those desires. But this is the best moment for moslem people, only 1 month of the year we could get best rewards from God very easily. But we need to do some sacrificed to get the best. Fasting, pray, keep the emotions stay cool, no eating & drinking at day, waking up in the early of morning, and keep praying when break-fasting continued until the night, repeat all those things until 30 days, and we can celebrate ourselves at Eid Mubarak Day. Insya Allah.. :)

My family was already had a plan to do something for Ramadhan. But Allah say another.. The day for the first Ramadhan's coming, me lost the beloved older uncle for ever. He passed away and leave us while we're gonna do some gathering to collect our member of my big family to helped out my older uncle from his illness, diabetes, prostate and hypertension. I just can't believe to losing someone in this world because alhamdulillah my family are still complete. Being lost was like you don't have some grip in life, tomorrow or the next days we can't see each other because the die made us different. Our world wasn't the same anymore... I was looking up for him at the day before my older uncle left. And watched him struggle by his illness just made me feel sick. I'm not dare to looked him struggle at a critical time.. While the time goes by so slowly, counting the every seconds every minute he would left us...

He's my mom's brother. In my family he called  "pakde" from Javanese language, because an half of my blood is Javanese ethnician. He's a brave person ever I knew inside my own family. When he's young and active, he's a reporter and journalist at TVRI. He loved adventurous, get down by his Willis Jeep and did his lovely hobbies like ride a bike with his fixie, traveling Indonesia, fishing, photography, shooting by his gun (he's a member of Perbakin too), but writing as good as Clark Kent searching news from everywhere. I called him Indiana Jones mixture Clark Kent :) 

Yes I feel losing his figure in this life. He's such my dad, my granpa (because he's already old), my role model when I'm still working as a Journalist too, my teacher.. He teached me & all my same-ages cousins about Islam, fun, and be bold, be who-you-are when we're going adult someday. 

Good bye, Pakde. Allah love you more, that's why Allah taking you more earlier than we thought...

I miss you, we miss you forever and ever :)